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I'd rocked the boat a time or two,
I'd left my heart detached someplace,
Crashed into vacancy open armed,
A year, and another, grinds away,
Too young to waste, too old to say
When it grabbed me, possessed me,
Would jade and molest me,
Sudden revelation, my hate starts to fray,
A clear sky frees me, soaks me to my skin,
Until I am reborn, my life to begin,
The future's a canvas,
Choices- my paint- a mending wound,
And just like that...
A smile burns my cheeks.



I haven't felt this way in weeks.

The Damage

I've shed tears at night just hoping for reason,
A lucid truth to pass me by,
The mirror will break as my emptiness cracks,
I'm made this way but I don't know why,

Too long without comfort, my shadow alone,
Beauty, skin deep, is a vicious lie,
For I've beauty on both sides, unnoticed, untouched,
Yet they all walk past me- an island, am I?

Virginity sacred? It consumes, it's a burden,
I'm young, they say life has just begun,
Though I fail to see happiness or love beyond here,
My faith goes, my heart knows the damage has been done

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Unsafe to rue what's no longer life,
I'm told that it is futile,
To wish and waste for moments passed and paint my hate a while,
Oh the glory days, how they were filled with rage,
My future self lamented,
I lost my way amongst the path of a thousand fears demented,
Mirror reflecting, mirror refusing,
The picture-me- distorted,
Each time I touch it's turned to air, my apathy exhausted,
This night I stalk an unsafe street,
Embrace the sky's dark ink,
Above me falls, I'm drowning here, and from misery I drink

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A kaleidoscope of fears,
Sheltered behind a hilltop pretend,
I hover in a limbo,
The unforgiving end,

Ghouls envelope my quivering skin,
Mementos of errors I have made,
I wrestle wildly against myself,
Until I shatter and cascade,

Limo frozen, whimpers warn,
To push my knees against my chest,
To ride out the vicious storm,
Which is- for me- a vital test,

I rose to my feet and defied their words,
And faced the horrors head on,
After what seemed a thousand years,
Appeared the streaming sun,

Hope swelled within my infernal heart,
At the triumph I could see,
By myself I learned to fly,
From faith bloomed belief in me

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We have a unique love,
Untouched, uninhibited,
And unfulfilled,
I have returned now, for final moments,
When we've the debris of four wasted years,
We're still living in the past,
Though we're here now, we meet in the memories
Of stolen kisses, those painful near misses,
I should see
That what's broken can't be mended,
What's weak can't be defended,
I should see,
That we are fighting a losing war,
That we just don't fit together any more

Woman. Soldier.

Don't hear your venom,
I am woman. Hear my roar,
Demon mindset, hero's death,
So I should blush when you put me down?
Nobody crushes my face against the ground,
I am sincerity. Honesty. Longevity,
In a battle, minus honour or humanity,
Top of the world, a fine thing to feel between your fingers,
At parties I dance, carouse and swill,
Becoming the bar. The town is mine,
Now I'm floating on a cloud of passion,
Some girl, some woman, owns both night and day,
I am her and thus I am me,
Woman. Soldier,
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

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I discovered he was my elder self,
From his poetry, dusty on the shelf,
I ascended the epic family tree,
To find what relics he'd left for me,
I longed to unmask the secrets there,
Discover parts of myself somewhere,
I scoured deeply, desperate to know,
Of who I really was, and so,
I climbed right down from branches green,
Reporting back the things I'd seen,
I grew from the leaves of scandals past,
Debauchery, lust, fame- I've learned last,
I sought reassurance that I'm something more,
And I got what I'd been hoping for